Conflict Management

Understanding Conflict

We tend to assume that all conflict is bad, and we often confuse “conflict” with its more negative symptoms; confrontation and violence.  In fact, conflict is an integral part of any relationship, no matter how good.  Even in the best of relationships, people will have different preferences, different perspectives, and different thresholds for what is acceptable.  While such tensions (conflict) often exist, intrigue, confrontation, and violence are but a few symptoms that indicate a failure to deal effectively with those tensions.

At Sea-Change, we prefer the term “conflict management” to the often-used term, “conflict resolution,” for a few reasons.  Firstly, if conflict is an integral part of any relationship, then conflict itself cannot be “resolved.”  While it might be possible to resolve substantive issues in dispute, the potential for conflict will often continue.  If two people choose to fight over something, rather than to deal with the dispute in some more productive way, then solving the dispute won’t change the fact that they would have chosen to fight.  Secondly, we at Sea-Change adhere to the notion that sometimes “solutions aren’t the answer.”  While some issues in dispute might have simple solutions; that is not often the case.  In most cases where conflict exists, there is no static solution; but rather, people experiencing conflict must apply ongoing skills, processes, and tools that allow them to manage tensions and relationships effectively (and even productively), over time — without violence or destructive confrontation.

Some also believe that avoiding conflict is a strategy for success.  We know otherwise.  Conflict avoidance is no substitute for effective conflict management, because sometimes tensions must be balanced and sometimes hard choices cannot be avoided without consequences.  Everyone experiences conflict, and it is those who are best at dealing with it well who become the most effective leaders, the most valued members of teams, and the most sought-after employees.  Conflict avoidance also prevents people from developing the capacity to cope with conflict, on the rare occasions when conflict becomes unavoidable.

In practice, being an effective conflict manager means understanding the nature of conflict, being able to diagnose conflict accurately, understanding the different types and sources of conflict, understanding the role of communication and relationship management, possessing the ability to deal with substantive disputes in less destructive ways, and knowing what skills, tools, and strategies it takes to manage conflict effectively.

Sea-Change Partners professionals are among the world’s most experienced conflict management trainers and advisors; having advised on conflict management efforts in business disputes and peace processes in over 100 countries and territories worldwide, at every level; from grassroots, community-based efforts, to mediation and alternative dispute resolution systems for the legal community and academic institutions, to consulting with heads-of-state in situations of civil war and violent identity-based conflict.  In the private sector, we advise on commercial disputes, conflict in the workplace, tensions on the boardroom, and managing the “friction” that accompanies rapid change.

Sea-Change professionals also advise international organizations, private foundations, donors, and development agencies in “conflict sensitivity” and incorporating conflict management strategies when working in the world’s war zones.  We have also helped international organizations and large corporations design grievance redress mechanisms (GRMs) and other processes for dealing with customer complaints.

Sea-Change Partners offers the following conflict management services:

There are few skills more important in life than the ability to manage conflict effectively.  And one thing all successful people have in common – whatever the context – is that they are good communicators, good negotiators, and effective conflict managers.  Effective Conflict Management is essential to success in leadership, management, teamwork, negotiation, relationships, and many other parts of life; both personal and professional.  Our training is designed to help participants become more effective by:

  • Understanding what conflict really is and how it works,
  • Understanding different types of conflict and what causes it,
  • Learning how to be effective “conflict doctors;” able to diagnose any conflict,
  • Learning how to deal effectively with the friction in relationships that is inevitable when people work together,
  • Learning how to communicate for understanding – and to clarify misunderstandings,
  • Learning how to exercise influence, without creating – or increasing – conflict,
  • Learning how to engage in productive problem-solving with others,
  • Learning how to give — and receive – feedback effectively, despite tensions, and
  • Learning how to have difficult conversations skilfully when conflict exists.

Understanding Conflict

Our training begins with presentations and discussion on different types and sources of conflict; from the natural friction inherent in group work to deep-seated identity differences; from simple misunderstandings, to ideological conflict; from substantive differences to situational conflict (e.g., that generated by scarcity).  This introduction will help us better to understand the subject, and to identify the ways in which improved skills and approaches can help us to be more effective in dealing with conflicts of all kinds.  Discussions will also help participants to begin to identify the conflict management challenges they face – or will face — in their work.

Understanding the Challenges Participants Face

Participants will be asked to share some of their biggest challenges related to dealing with conflict. We shall discuss those challenges and some of the most common difficulties people face in managing conflict effectively; from expressing oneself, to raising issues for discussion, to understanding others, to preventing or clarifying misunderstandings, to dealing with emotions, to giving or receiving useful feedback, to negotiation of substantive differences, to engaging in difficult conversations skillfully.

We include emphasis on the communication skills that are necessary to deal with conflict effectively.  This includes focus on the cognitive psychology of how people form perceptions, and how those perceptions then serve as the basis for our behavior.  This helps participants to understand how communication is structured and how to “navigate” a conversation about differences effectively; especially when they are under pressure and/or when they face difficulties in understanding others or being understood clearly on issues of importance.

The Practice of Conflict Management:  Role-Plays, Videos, and Case-Studies

Participants prepare for, and engage in, one-on-one or multi-party conversations as part of role-play simulations, based on a dispute among two, or more, parties.  The role-plays might simulate a commercial or workplace dispute, identity differences, political or ideological differences, differences of opinion, or competition over scarce resources.  They are designed to challenge participants to communicate effectively in several ways; dealing with miscommunication, solving issues in substantive disputes, and maintaining a good relationship, while also trying to exercise influence on the other parties.
Participants will learn key skills for turning debate into dialogue, by watching relevant videos and/or discussing case-studies based on actual conflicts.  Sea-Change Senior Consultants have worked with parties to commercial, political, and violent conflicts at all levels for more than 20 years, worldwide.  We will share real experiences from the many peace negotiations, business disputes, conflict management efforts, and crisis interventions in which we have been involved as trainers, advisors, and mediators.

Communication in Conflict

How we communicate with one another is itself often a source of conflict.  Skilled communicators are able to convey messages and exercise influence without creating or exacerbating tensions.  And those in the midst of conflict can use effective communication skills to manage relationships effectively while dealing with the substance of a dispute.  Some conversations; such as performance reviews, political debates, bearing bad news, dealing with customer complaints, or sharing unpopular opinions are often difficult by design.  And it requires particular communication skills to deal with such situations.

Our training includes presentations and practice sessions on the art and science of having “difficult conversations” skillfully; including the skills associated with giving and receiving feedback.  (While at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Sea-Change Senior Consultants contributed to the acclaimed book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, which is based on decades of experience working with parties in all types of disputes).

Performance Review and Application to Participant Cases

At several intervals, throughout the training, participants will be asked to review the exercises and presentations, so that they might reflect on their performance, the performance of others, and so that they can relate the workshop lessons and experiences to the situations they face in their own work and lives.  There will be facilitated discussions following each exercise and there will be question & answer sessions after each presentation in order to guarantee such opportunities for reflection.

Prior to the training, participants will be asked to prepare real cases based on a dispute/conflict in which they are – or will be – involved, so that they might consider how the skills, tools, and strategies offered in the training can be put to effective use in their own situations.

Role-Reversal

Participants will be asked to work on the cases they will have prepared prior to the training, using the “Role-Reversal Exercise.”  This exercise has been used effectively for decades to help participants prepare for a difficult conversation or a challenging negotiation with another party, by asking the participants (with the help of a fellow participant, acting as a partner) to engage in the conversation, but while playing the role of the other side (the party with whom they have the dispute).  The exercise is an effective way of helping participants both to gain diagnostic and empathic insights into how the dispute looks to the other party in order to design strategies and prepare for the conversation prior to the actual meeting.

Whether your organization, or your country, is experiencing debilitating internal or external conflict, or you are party to an ongoing dispute, Sea-Change Partners can help you.  We assist parties in conflict in developing and implementing conflict prevention measures, conflict management strategies, handling grievances, and resolution of substantive disputes.  Our goal is to help our clients to achieve better outcomes, to limit damage and costs, and to repair, maintain, or improve relationships wherever possible.

We have expertise in helping clients manage all types of conflict; from tensions in the workplace, to major commercial disputes; from racial and ethnic tensions, to violent identity-based (racial, religious, ethnic) conflict, political and ideological conflict, or matters of terrorism, war, and peace.

Sea-Change professionals are expert facilitators; whether for peace negotiations and dispute resolution meetings, or for multi-party negotiations, stakeholder engagements, or brainstorming sessions. In any meeting involving multiple parties, skilled facilitation is often a key to the success of meetings. We have extensive experience facilitating dialogue and helping groups of people with serious differences communicate effectively.

Whether acting as formally appointed mediators, or helping parties to negotiate with each other more effectively to resolve disputes, Sea-Change professionals can help.

We also help our clients to design and manage processes for more productive meetings, dispute resolution procedures, or multi-stakeholder interactions.

Developing Conflict Management skills, or strategies, requires practice.  Professional mediators and others tasked with conflict management responsibilities, however, cannot risk learning on-the-job. Because the risks of “learning-by-doing” in situations of real conflict are too high, practical conflict management training is best done through the use of realistic simulations; based on actual disputes.  We help our clients benefit from “real” practice, but without the real risk, by developing customized simulations and realistic conflict management scenarios that are based on real cases.

Our conflict management simulations have been used by international humanitarian organizations, inter-governmental development organizations, development banks, militaries, journalists, and police in order to prepare personnel for deployment in several of the world’s conflict zones.  Our peace process simulations have been used by diplomats and international envoys in order to prepare them for diplomatic peace efforts.

In the private sector, our simulations and conflict role-plays have helped clients prepare for meetings with opposing parties in disputes and have helped companies successfully to manage internal conflicts.

Whatever the context, and whatever the conflict, we help our clients practice and plan strategies, so that they are prepared for almost anything by the time they are called upon to deal with real situations.